Daily Post Prompt · Uncategorized

Time Fell Off

And I thought enough
I had gone away
But as it turned out
It was just a short lie
And now I’m back at it
Fiendishly, not unlike before
Because this thing is worse
Than a chemical addiction
I can bite on chalky gum
To stop the carcinogens
And repeat twelve steps
To depreciate the drink
But where is the resolve for this
Which step ends wretchedness
To whom do I make amends first
For crushing and suffocating
Stalking with my wanton cries
But didn’t I suffer the most
Do I console and pity myself
Where is my circle to confide in
How does one gain said serenity
If they can’t jump from truth
Reflecting in compact mirrors
Self-deprecation and bitter flaws
Broken powder conflicted scratching
The filmy face of illuminated hate
Are we really that powerless
Or perhaps it was just me
But I am one step ahead already
At least internally I can outwardly
Breathe an easy admission of issue
And take distorted comforts
With the idea of some bright future
Even if in real time I am aware
I must have purposefully blinked
In my comatose state and I let
Tomorrow sneak past me
While I was deciphering yesterday
And now I realize whole-heartedly
That not just accidentally somehow
But as a result of my mission
To triumph in self-sabotage and oblivion
I lost the slightest ability or hope
Of ever waking up to catch today.

CLEAN

Daily Post Challenge · Uncategorized

WILLPOWER is a MYTH

This idea of “willpower” has been on my mind (a sort of pun there, you’ll get it later), quite a bit lately. However, right now, its mystical powers have left me behind. I started this post too late in the evening/early in the morning, and I don’t have the wakefulness, the drive, nay, the “willpower,” to push-thru and finish before passing out. More on that later. I will add to this draft. Promise. Willpower and the “Conventional Wisdom” which entitles the term’s very existence and thus manifested imposition on our lives, has become kind of a consuming theme in my current state.

Stay Tuned.

Daily Post Prompt · Uncategorized

A Pre-Coined Formula

I shall withstand you, my error, So make the most of her, your little doe, Your little bunny, your little much fairer, I won’t forgive, or feign, or move aside, Until your conscience is set afire; by and by I shan’t forget you, as I said, but now If you embarrass me with your crudest tongue, I will assuage you with my easiest truth. I would never that lust were more simply-cold, And odes were not so brilliantly blinding as they are, But so it is, and nurture has failed To teach from our past cupids’ mistakes thus far,– Whether or not we come out of this alive is irrelevant, for the heart already bleeds thinly thru much too thick a scar.

In response to Daily Post Prompt “Aesthetic

Uncategorized

Repetitive Intimacy

She writes same as she loves
Amorous and moody
And she eats a fig
As she drinks her diet tea
With the tease of her tongue
Around a salty mushroom head
The words flirting
With any space to give
Remember her
She was pale with such
A rash of sweetness
But boy don’t self flatter
Cause that was just the sugar
And the ice won’t help
When the pen is out of ink
Pull your zipper up
Lay the paper down
A sudden exhaustion
The daily grind
Too many distractions!
With a new sunrise
The twins no of no sleep
An acute list left
To prioritize
Pull back your bow
Rest on glass hooves
We don’t need his kiss
Or want his need
And that same dictionary
Wasting on a dusty shelf
Those old charms just can’t do
Logic is in clear sight
Steady steady
Breathing today won’t hurt
Until today becomes tonight
Pathetic pleas now just curt
Each has awoken
From one another they tear
A meaningless come hither
All dazzling spells lay broken
Romances best shattered
Tentative rhymes only jest
A billie goat’s bleating
His pride pool blood battered
Against my heart lacking chest
Fingernails screeching
Sheets of blank lines scattered
Boredom so imminent
Bursting such the fragile bond
Once you thought so infinite
Close your eyes dear
The covers are on
Rip the pages clear
Cause from the beginning
This dance had been done.

Uncategorized

REMEMBER TO REMIND

Writing Reminder Note: Little Shadows

can’t write the note yet, little spiders, little  shadows scurrying, hissing at the cat trying to chase the broom, but really she’s fast asleep on the bed in my son’s room

i sweep it all up. it’s not scary.

oh that’s right, i forgot to eat. i got the pizza from the fundraiser in the to-go container.

to-go container, to-go box, empty box over there, waiting to be filled with stuff, the big pack the big move has come and there is so little time left to kill

i box it all up. not all of it.

oh yes, the little shadows. i’m hungry. that pizza. i should save some though, baby boy is off peanut butter i guess, reminds him of being sick.

so no more sack lunch sandwiches, he wants leftover pizza (MY leftover pizza) instead, pleeeeeeease…which means less to eat for me and i have to pick off everything but the cheeeeeeeese

oh my god i’m tired, brain pain–oh the shadows, i forgot! i’ll go now and write a reminder to–wait, finish preparing your morning scripts, or you know you’ll forget those next and you must have them at first alarm tomorrow, at your side in bed.

and grab some gatorade.

stupid little startling shadows. the least of the worst of that which flies out of my head.