I cling to a video that I can no longer find. I put in the url address into Vimeo’s website. I know the video existed once. I was the star. But where did it go? I was so emotionally raw. I want to find that again and feel that. I want my heart to palpitate and try to break over and over. I’m clinging to a lost performance. I cling to the version of Dilate that I can’t seem to locate. I do this every couple of years. Start searching for something that was long ago erased. And even to that inevitably fruitless search, I will cling to nothing and think
Well at least I tried to care again about something.