I found this little notebook, just last night after reading about the latest Daily Post challenge. Filled in with various forms of poetry and a sometimes disturbing river of streaming consciousness writings, (in the penmanship of a 2nd grade boy), and this awesome cliché of a list was also included:
“Goals to Become or Accomplish by Age 35”
Yeah, I know.
And now here I am, having just recently celebrated my 36th birthday…
Let’s see how many boxes I was able to check off the list:
Mother (duh, Female Goals 101): CHECK.
I am currently a Stay at Home Mom to my 5-year-old son. (Although that SAHM title won’t hold up for long, now that my one child is an almost full-time elementary student, and Mama ain’t no crafty “Homemaker,” when left alone to her own devices.)
Teacher AND Ambassador: CHECK.
– All parents are Insta-Teachers/Ambassadors. For better or worse. Mostly worse.
POLITICAL FIGURE: CHECK.
– I’m totally suicidal. I mean, political. And a (ghastly) figure to boot.
JOURNALIST: CHECK. (But please just don’t check the facts on this one…)
– Blogging and creating online memes count as journalism, right? Trolling fake news to retweet? How about being an avid fan of Full Frontal with Sam Bee and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, etc? Fox news can suck every backwards and crooked dikc they promote. See, only a true journalist would say that.
GUEST ON OPRAH: SEMI-CHECK.
– Um, should have been, but instead of giving me one more minute to blow everyone’s mind, someone got lazy and retired. Ugh. Well, I do “Oprah” myself all of the time. I cry over everything. It’s called seeking fatal doses of heart-breaking perspective, people.
AN ACCOMPLISHED ACTRESS: CHECKish.
– I’ve had my quick 10 minutes of Hollywood fame, like, 7 years ago. Don’t fucking waste your time with imdb.com right now. You don’t even know my name. And if I was ever a big deal, you would already have realized it. But I do have verifiable “acting” credits, and I didn’t say I had to be a good actress, so…
And of course, if ALL else failed, my fall-back goal: Humanitarian.
– Well, if I wasn’t a natural-born humanitarian, and if I am still not a humanitarian by now, in my mid-30s…Then one must beg the question: What the fuck is wrong with me?
The idealism of a delusional 15 year old…But I was 25.
The “10 Year Plan,” is universally fleeting.
Until THIS official “Transcript” happened.
Shit just got real.